Bitter sadness in Klütz: Dagmar Burmeister fights for the courage to live after loss

Bitter sadness in Klütz: Dagmar Burmeister fights for the courage to live after loss

A severe blow of fate shook the life of Dagmar Burmeister from Klütz. Her 84-year-old mother suffered a stroke in front of her eyes. “That was a terrible moment,” remembers Dagmar. The mother was immediately taken to the hospital by emergency doctor, where Dagmar stayed by her side during this difficult time. Unfortunately, her mother was no longer able to speak after the stroke and concerns about her well-being were omnipresent. After her mother died, Dagmar fell into a deep emotional hole. Despite her family's support, she felt alone and lost.

This loss was particularly painful for Dagmar, and the funeral service was also a great burden for her. She found it extremely challenging to say goodbye to her mother. “It felt like a part of my life was being taken away from me,” is how she describes her feelings. During this time, she sought out a conversation with a pastor to share her thoughts and feelings, and also received support from colleagues. But the loss wasn't the only thing Dagmar had to deal with. Ten years later, her father died of progressive dementia, which the family was always aware of.

The importance of palliative care

Palliative care is extremely important in the final stages of a loved one's life. The WHO defines it as a person-centered approach that aims to support both the physical and emotional needs of patients and families. Part of this care is practical help and grief counseling, which is intended to help the bereaved to live actively until death and to cope with grief. Dagmar Burmeister would like more people to have access to such services and recommends getting professional support to better deal with the grief process.

Especially in difficult situations, patients and their relatives need comprehensive care. As shown by the case of an 86-year-old patient who was no longer able to be independent after a severe stroke. The family was faced with incredible decisions that had to be made because adequate care could not be organized at home. Finally, the patient was transferred to a normal neurological ward, where relatives were able to accompany him in his final days. This is where the special needs of stroke patients come into play, who often suffer from paralysis and other impairments.

The role of hospice and palliative services

The Ecumenical Hospice Service in Wismar has been offering last aid courses since 1998 that deal with the topics of dying, death and palliative care. These courses are invaluable, and Dagmar Burmeister would have liked more offerings such as a mourning café to share her grief with others. The fact that many relatives do not have advance health directives makes the situation even more difficult. In such cases, palliative specialists are required to provide patients and their families with comprehensive advice and support so that dignified support can be guaranteed until their last breath.

When we talk about palliative care, we must not forget that it is not just medical care. The WHO emphasizes that access to palliative care is a human right for all people, regardless of their illness or income. However, in many countries there are still significant barriers that need to be overcome. These include, among other things, a lack of training for specialists and insufficient access to pain-relieving medication, which often plays a crucial role in the last phase of life.

For Dagmar Burmeister, the memory of her mother remains alive. But moving from sadness to hope is a process that takes time. She continues to find ways to share her experiences through conversations and offerings to others to encourage those in similar situations.

For many people, the journey through grief and the challenges that come with the loss of loved ones is one of the greatest stresses in life. Dagmar Burmeister is an example of how important it is not to feel alone and to seek support. Palliative care can make a valuable contribution to making the last days of life the best time for patients and relatives.

For more information about dealing with serious illness and the importance of palliative care, read reports from Baltic Sea newspaper, Hospice.at and WHO.